Rush Read online

  “You know I’m House Corp President now, right?” Lilith says after stopping a few rooms down.

  House Corp President means she’s head of all sorority relations and represents Alpha Delt to the University. She makes all the operational House decisions and manages the housemother, all on a volunteer basis. I don’t know much more about it, nor do I care. It sounds like a ton of work to me.

  “No, I didn’t. Congratulations?” This is meant to be a question. Like I said, it sounds like a full-time job. With no compensation.

  She clasps both hands to her chest. “Yes, thank you. I’m thrilled. I was a Rush Advisor last year, but I wanted to be more involved. I’ve been needing something like this for years. Since I became a sustainer in the League.”

  With my head tilted curiously I ask, “The Junior League has a chapter in Natchez?” Jackson is the only town in Mississippi with a chapter—at least that’s what I’d been told.

  “I affiliated in Jackson. And I’m glad I did. I know so many Jackson people now.”

  It takes two hours to get from Natchez to Jackson. That must have been quite a commitment, I think without commenting.

  “I love my garden club, don’t get me wrong, it’s just”—she looks off, like she’s choosing her words—“frankly, I feel like this will keep me young. Plus I’ll have a bird’s-eye view into Annie Laurie–world for the next four years. That’s if she decides to pledge Alpha Delt, which, in my mind, is not up for discussion.”

  Hearing her say Annie Laurie had to be an Alpha Delt takes me aback, but I don’t comment. “So you’ll be around the entire time she’s in school? I assumed House Corp President would only be a one-year position.”

  “It’s for as long as I want the job, girlfriend. Not everyone wants a full-time job with a volunteer’s pay.” She snickers nervously.

  I sure wouldn’t, but to each his own.

  “Anyway. Back to what I wanted to talk with you about. I think you should be a Rush Advisor. Anne Marie Norton had to leave the board unexpectedly and we need someone to take her place.”

  Hmm. I shrug, contemplating her offer. “What exactly would I be doing?”

  “Acting as a mentor. Helping out with Recruitment.” Her hand cups the side of her mouth. “Spying,” she whispers conspiratorially. “You could know what Ellie’s doing without her knowing you know what she’s doing. Does that make sense?”

  “Ahhh,” I say with a nod. Now it’s making perfect sense.

  “Honestly. It’s a way to see her more often. Plus I really enjoyed my work as a Rush Advisor. I think you will, too. It’s fun.”

  The thought of getting to see Ellie lessens the sadness I felt before we left the room. Maybe this is my answer. I’d never spy on her, never in a million years. But I’d certainly love to peek in on her every now and then. “Where do I sign up?”

  Her eyes pop like she’s surprised by my answer, and then she grins impishly. “All you do is tell me you want to do it and that’s it. We had Recruitment meetings at the House every day last week. Even though it doesn’t start till October now, we did all the normal pre-Rush stuff. It’s not much different than when we were in school.”

  “Learning about all the girls and deciding which ones are and aren’t ‘Alpha Delt Material’?” I say, with a chuckle. That’s the way we used to put it when we were in the sorority. Hearing my words makes me cringe to think how narrow-minded and snobby we once were. Maybe as Rush Advisor I can help with that.

  “Exactly. We have one more meeting tomorrow. Why don’t you stay tonight?”

  “Darn. I can’t. Haynes and I rode together. I wouldn’t have a way home.”

  “Can’t you borrow Ellie’s car?”

  “She didn’t bring one this semester, remember?”

  Lilith’s top lip curls.

  “Haynes is old-fashioned that way.”

  “That is sure gonna be tough on Ellie.”

  “I know. But he’s not budging.” I’m shrinking down, feeling as small as a sparrow. Maybe I should have put my foot down with Haynes. “Besides, I don’t have any extra clothes with me.”

  “Memphis isn’t far. Come back tomorrow.”

  It occurs to me that I cannot ask Haynes to pay for a hotel room every time I come to Oxford for a meeting. “Where do the advisors stay? Hotels?”

  “Several people have condos here in Oxford. Gage and I have one. You’re welcome to stay with us.”

  “That’s really sweet of you. Thanks.”

  “Okay, so you’re in?”

  “I’m in.”

  “Fantastic! There are two other great women on the Recruitment Advisory Board. Sallie Wallace has been on it for five years. You remember her, don’t you?”

  “Sure I do. Wasn’t she Miss Tennessee?”

  “Yes indeed.” From the smirk on Lilith’s face, and the rapid way she’s nodding, I’m not sure if she’s proud or jealous. “And Gwen Lambuth has been on the board two years. She’s a lot younger than us. You’ll see them both tomorrow.”

  “Sounds great.” I wonder if Lilith knows how much this board appointment means to me. Our conversations over the summer never included our thoughts on becoming empty nesters so late in life. Surely she feels the same melancholy I do. Annie Laurie is her only child.

  Ellie pokes her head out of their door. “Mom, do you have any scissors?”

  “I think we packed some. Check your Vera Bradley bag.”

  She taps the doorframe. “Thanks.”

  “Our girls are gonna be best friends. I can already tell,” Lilith says.

  I think back to Lisa. We were definitely best friends. “I sure hope so. That’ll certainly make college more fun.”

  “So you’ll come back tomorrow?”

  “I’ll be here.”

  “We have plenty of food and wine at the condo. So don’t feel like you have to bring anything.”

  “Oh, well, I can’t show up empty-handed.”

  “Of course you can.” She shoos away my offer. “Our pantry is stocked. Plus I’ve got several bottles of thank-you wine left over.”

  “Thank-you wine?”

  “You know … for all the recs my friends wrote for Annie Laurie. What’d you send?”

  She may as well have asked me which trailer park I grew up in. Ellie sent thank-you notes to all the ladies who wrote her recs, but I didn’t think to include a gift. I’d like to melt into a shame puddle at her feet. Lilith is a force of nature. One minute she’s got me convinced I’m her new best friend, and the next she’s trapped me inside a sticky web of humiliation.

  Right then, as if his instincts had fired up to save me, Haynes steps out of Ellie’s room. His hands are stuffed inside his pockets. “Ready?”

  “I guess so,” I say, nauseous at the mere thought of my oversight.

  Lilith reaches out to hug me from the side. “You go on. We’ll probably hang around a few more minutes. I want to absorb this dreaminess a little while longer.”

  Haynes and I go back into the room, give our final goodbyes to all, and I slink out the door behind him.

  *

  On the way home, Haynes is uncharacteristically quiet for the first several minutes of our drive. He turns on our Memphis classic rock station, and sings along with the Stones, but without the normal zeal for his favorite band. I notice his hands gripping the steering wheel. When he finally opens his mouth he says, “What’s a Jimmy Choo?”

  I can’t help it, but that strikes me as hilarious. And knowing he’s dead serious makes it even funnier. I laugh so hard I snort. “Jimmy … Choo is … a … shoe.” I can barely get the words out between gasps for air. And hearing the rhyme I made makes it worse. Now I am truly about to wet my pants.

  One of the best things about us is we can’t watch the other laugh for too long without the other cracking up. I see Haynes grin. Then his eyebrows wiggle. And pretty soon he’s laughing. Now we’re both cackling and holding our stomachs. I drum my feet against the floorboard. He bangs his head against the steer
ing wheel. We both have tears streaming down our cheeks.

  “Jimmy Choo is a shooooe,” Haynes repeats, and we fall to our sides against the windows, heehawing our brains out. He whips into a rural gas station and screeches to a halt. We both run for the toilets holding ourselves.

  When we get back into the car and have settled down, about five minutes down the road, he confesses he’s skeptical about Ellie rooming with Annie Laurie. He goes on and on about what a milquetoast Gage Whitmore is and calls Lilith a “bulldozer control freak,” but the only thing he says having to do with Rhonda Taylor is, “I assume Gage paid Mr. Robinson. But we could have done all that stuff ourselves.”

  “I know.”

  “I mean that’s pretty ridiculous. Did you know they were hiring someone?”

  “No.” My half-truth. I had no idea Rhonda Taylor employed an installation team.

  “Lifestyles of the rich and very rich,” he says, shaking his head. But he looks over at me with a twinkle in his eye. Thank goodness.

  I tell him about my conversation with Lilith and how she’s asked me to be a Rush Advisor. Once he sees how happy I am about seeing Ellie more often he’s very supportive, despite his concerns about the Whitmores.

  But the fun I was having moments ago is replaced with a gut-wrenching fear of doom. All I can think about, while watching the hot Highway 78 pavement stretch out in front of us, is the money I borrowed from Mama to pay Rhonda Taylor. The loan I’m hiding from Haynes, with no clue how to make the first payment.

  TEN

  WILDA

  When I drag myself out to the coffeepot the next morning, before I’m awake enough to know my own name, Haynes, who is usually long gone by this time, is sitting at the kitchen counter reading the paper. The sound of him snapping it shut as soon as he sees me is my first indication that there may be a bump in our morning. Even so, I calmly pour myself a cup of the coffee he’s already brewed and sit down on the stool next to him. From the corner of my eye I watch him take a long sip of his, then put his cup down softly. “I don’t know, Wilda.”

  Alarmed by his tone, I meet his eyes.

  “I’m—” He looks off, as though searching for the right words, then drums his fingers on the counter. “I’m concerned about our daughter.”

  I reach over and place my hand on top of his. “Is this about the Jimmy Choos?” My desperate attempt to add a little levity into his mood.

  It doesn’t work.

  Haynes rubs the back of his neck, while stretching out his shoulders. Then he looks me in the eye. “Children learn from their parents. Later, when they go out on their own, parents hope and pray their children remember the values they’ve been taught.” He gets up and paces from one end of the room to the other. He’s in the courtroom.

  “But…” He points a finger high in the air. “Teenagers are heavily influenced by the company they keep. Ellie is living with a girl who has two whack jobs for parents. Who the hell sends their kid off to college with enough valuables that require a safe? They have locks on their doors, for God’s sake.”

  I let out a sigh. “I don’t know. But I agree with you. Taking a safe to college is way over the top.”

  He stops pacing, moves back to where I’m sitting. “Where did you find this girl?”

  “I’ve told you this already. Lilith called me when she heard we had daughters the same age.”

  Leaning down, he grips the counter. The veins in his hands look like planting mounds in a garden. “I get it. But didn’t you research the family before you committed our daughter?”

  “Haynes. I’m not a lawyer. I don’t research.”

  Instead of commenting he just peers at me over his glasses.

  Now I’m getting confused about our decision. “At the time, I thought it made sense. So did you. We talked about it.”

  He sighs, releases a heavy breath. “Maybe I’m overreacting. But she’s our baby, Wilda. My little Punkin. I can’t help it if I still want to protect her.”

  “Me, too.” He’s not the only one who wants to protect Ellie.

  “If it’s not the right situation for her surely she’ll figure that out and move out next year,” he says with another sigh.

  “Of course she will. Our daughter has a good head on her shoulders, Haynes. She knows right from wrong and she can spot a phony a mile away. If Annie Laurie Whitmore turns out to be an insensitive princess, Ellie won’t stand for it.”

  With a purposeful snicker he sits back down. “You’re right about that.”

  “Of course I am. But I don’t think that’ll happen. When we visited the Whitmores in Natchez they were a gracious, loving family.”

  After a long pause and a blatant disregard for my comment he changes the subject. “That dorm room. I didn’t want to embarrass Ellie so I didn’t say anything, but holy crap. How much did that cost us?”

  Gulp. “Three thousand.” I say the lie softly, hoping he’ll shrug it off.

  A loud screech from his stool as it is pushed away from the counter tells me he won’t. “Three. Thousand. Dollars?”

  “All of this dorm room stuff costs a fortune. I’m telling you, we’re in the wrong business.” My pulse is beating so loudly I’m sure he can hear it.

  For a full minute he keeps his mouth shut. Once my pounding pulse has turned into bona fide heart palpitations he surprises me. “She does have a beautiful room. And it made her happy. Did you see her face when she walked in?”

  I nod. And seize the opportunity to show excitement over every inch of my face.

  “That made me happy, too. Seeing how much she loves it.” If there’s one thing I know about Haynes, Ellie is his Achilles’ heel. He slurps the last bit of coffee and stands up. “Okay, enough of this. Let’s move on.”

  Feeling immense relief, I turn his way. “Hope the rest of your day is better.” We lean in to kiss and I wrap my fingers around his forearm. “Don’t forget I’m driving back down to Oxford today … for the last Rush Workshop meeting. But I’ll be back tonight after dinner. I’ve decided not to spend the night with Lilith. My to-do list is ten miles long.”

  With a tap of his forehead he says, “Ah. The new Rush Advisor. Go steer those Alpha Delts in the right direction.”

  “That’s my plan.”

  “You’ll be a great role model.” Thank God, there’s a smile on his face.

  “You mean it?”

  “Of course I mean it. Be careful of the traffic, though. It’s move-in day for the rest of Mississippi.” He grabs his briefcase off the bench, moves toward the door. Then he turns back around. “Babe.”

  I look up.

  “I’m not pissed at you. I’m just worried for Ellie. I’m sorry if it came out like this is your fault. It’s not.”

  I kiss the air to let him know I’m okay. But I’m not. I’m rotting on the inside. No way around it, I’ve out-and-out lied to my husband. The clanging of the door shutting behind him is the last sound I hear. Wallowing inside my cesspool, I sit another moment in silence before pouring myself another cup of black coffee.

  ELEVEN

  CALI

  “Papaw,” I call over the side of his pickup truck when I see him squinting his eyes and gritting his teeth, “that’s too heavy. Let me help you.” I shut the truck door and run back as he’s maneuvering the heaviest box onto the tailgate. “Be careful, please.” He pulled a muscle in his back a few weeks ago and I don’t want him reinjuring himself.

  He turns. “Young lady. Don’t you know you’re not supposed to put heavy things in big boxes? What’s in here?” While he’s heaving the box toward himself a small grunt escapes.

  “Almost every book I own. With a few shoes and boots on top.” As the two of us lower the box onto our rented dolly I can feel my arms straining.

  “All these books. Well, what else could I expect from our first lady governor.” After a wink, I see that familiar grin.

  “That’s a lot of pressure, you know.”

  He reaches for the next box. “You tell me how
many of these pretty little girls moving in today are class valedictorians with all Honors and AP courses?”

  “Papaw, shh. I don’t want that broadcast all over campus.”

  “And why not?”

  “Because I’m not a bragger,” I whisper.

  He stops, nuzzles me into his side. “I’m just proud of you, you hear? You’ve given an old man a happy heart.”

  “Aw, thanks, Papaw. But you’re not that old.”

  “Since when is seventy not that old?”

  “I heard it’s the new fifty.”

  “Hogwash,” he says, reaching for the next box.

  “What about Dolly Parton? You’re always talking about what a beauty she is. Y’all are the same age.”

  “Ha. She took a dip in that fountain of youth.”

  “She certainly did. And it cost her a fortune.” Mamaw has stepped out of the truck, but left it running. The poor woman doesn’t do well in the August heat.

  Papaw and I continue to stack boxes on the dolly. “The only problem this old man has,” Papaw says with a glance at Mamaw, “is thinking about how much your grandmother and I will miss you.”

  “It’s not like I’m off to New York City. I’m only down the road.” My high school guidance counselor had encouraged me to apply for scholarships at more prestigious universities much farther away. As much as I wanted to get away from Blue Mountain—Population 650—I didn’t want to be that far away from my grandparents. They’re the only family I have. And I’m all they have. Besides, I’ve been wanting to be an Ole Miss Rebel since I was a little girl. “I’m sure I’ll be home all the time.”

  Papaw turns to face me, puts his hands on my shoulders. “You listen here. We don’t want you doing that. This is your time, Cali baby. You need to soar like that ol’ eagle. We’ll be just fine.”

  I feel a lump in my throat. I’ve always been a protector, never wanting harm to come their way. “Thanks, Papaw.” I bite my lip before grabbing a couple of bags from the truck bed. I do not want to cry today.